


This home is your home

by BWolf_20



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), avengers endgame - Fandom
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Peter Parker, Loss, Pepper Potts Feels, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker struggles to move on, Sad Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 10:24:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19130119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BWolf_20/pseuds/BWolf_20
Summary: In the aftermath of tragedy after Thanos’s defeat, Peter can’t seem to leave the Stark home. He knows he should be strong enough to do it and keep going, but he can’t seem to do it. Pepper is there when he starts to fall.





	This home is your home

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers in reference to a character's death in Endgame!!!
> 
> I was not expecting it to be him as I really thought it'd be someone else. It didn't hit me until later and I cried afterwards :(  
> This idea, among a few others, spurred in my mind about a way Peter could struggle with the loss.

Peter knew he should go. It wasn’t appropriate for him to hang around the cabin as if he lived there. Mrs. Stark and her daughter deserved alone time. They needed the chance to mourn on their own now that everyone else had cleared out; everyone except him that is. 

He sat up on the edge of the bed. It still didn’t feel right that he was allowed to sleep in the guest room. The couch was fine. The guest room implied that he could stay for a while, and he had already stayed for a week. Slowly he massaged his temples as awareness of a new day struck him; a new day without…him.

Peter dropped his hand and just stared at the floor with tired, bloodshot eyes. Even after a week he was still feeling the hole in his chest. He wasn’t expecting a quick mend, but he hoped it would be a little better; a little easier. Then he dropped his head to his hand as he faced the lie. It wouldn’t be easier. It hadn’t been when he’d lost his own parents, and now he had lost another one. 

How long was it supposed to last? Was it normal to still feel like such a wreck? They hadn’t even been related, and it wasn’t as if they’d spent years together. 

He wasn’t sure about any of the answers. What he was sure of was how it had felt to cling to his body, crying out to him that they’d done it, they’d won. Just moments ago the man was staring at him in shock as he blabbered away about the plan to return and fight. 

His idol had said nothing and Peter had thought nothing of it. Then he had come forward and embraced him. The way his ironclad fingers wrapped around his body surprised Peter. It felt desperate and relieved at the same time. It was nice and he’d told him so. Now it felt like it hadn’t been enough to say just that. He’d been gone long enough for it to hurt the man, and all he had done was ramble about what’d he’d been through and to comment that the hug was ‘nice’.

“I’m sorry Mr. Stark,” he said softly.

A knock on the door roused him to sit up.

“C-come in.”

The door opened, and the little spitting image of his idol, his mentor, was standing there staring back at him. 

“Mom said breakfast is ready.”

Peter forced a smile.

“Okay.”

With a look that seemed to suggest uncertainty of some kind, the child hurried back into the kitchen. 

In the time he’d been crashing in their home, he hadn’t really gotten to know Morgan very well. He just couldn’t sum up the genuine energy to do so. At some point he had tried, mainly as a distraction, but the thing was, it wasn’t much of a distraction at all since her features were so similar to her dad’s. And facing too many direct aspects of him was hard, yet he stayed there surrounded by clear reminders of the man in the form of his wife, daughter, and the few tech items lying around.

He rubbed his hands across his eyes harshly. He really had to leave. Aunt May needed him, his neighborhood needed him. What kind of a Spider-man would he be if he just stayed shut up in the guest room of a fallen Avenger?

“Right,” he declared. He jumped to his feet, determined to make the move happen at last.

The minute he exited the door, the sudden boost started to drain and his shoulders dropped. 

“Oh Peter, I hope you like omelets,” Pepper greeted once he rounded the corner. “I think cereal’s run its course for a while.”

“That’ll be great,” came his chipper tone. She smiled at him, and he made sure there wasn’t a sign of depression in his face as he returned it. “You didn’t have to go to any trouble though, and I could help. I mean I haven’t really cooked anything besides burnt toast, but-”

“Peter,” she said in a soft, teasing way, “It’s fine. I told you I’m happy to do this. It…it helps.”

He nodded and dropped his head while scolding himself for getting her upset. He next turned to Morgan who was munching on cheerios. Apparently cereal hadn’t run its course with her. 

“Um, well I can always go and get you something. Like run to the store and pick up something…before I…go.”

“Go?”

“Yeah,” he said as he sheepishly ducked his head from her gaze. “It’s not right for me to…well, I mean, I’ve stayed her too long so I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t…”

He trailed off as he felt her hand upon his own. It was very soft and warm. 

“Peter.” She waited for him to meet her eyes. “It’s okay. Really it is. If you need to stay longer it’s totally fine.”

“But I can’t Mrs. Stark…aunt, Aunt May needs me home.”

She nodded in understanding, but Peter got the impression that she could see right through the excuse. His aunt was fine now that he was back in her life. He still remembered the near bone-crushing hug she had given him when he showed up at their door.

“She does.” Pepper went to work on his breakfast. 

_But, I’m also needed here_ , he thought as he watched her. 

“But, she’s not the only one,” she continued.

Peter quirked a brow at the comment.

“Huh…what do you…oh.” 

He stopped as the question practically answered itself. He was a neighborhood hero to his own neighborhood. He couldn’t very well call himself a neighborhood Spider-man if he never went back. Suddenly he was swallowing hard as he recalled the moment where his idol had ‘knighted’ him as an official Avenger after rescuing Dr. Strange. His heart had swelled with the simple gesture. The man had asked him to be part of the team before, but he had turned it down. He was being tested afterall, and there was still more growing he needed to do. His heart was clenching now as he thought about what the man had taught him in such a line of work.

“You still intend to continue your duties don’t you?”

Peter made to answer, then looked at Morgan. The girl was suddenly interested in their conversation as she looked back and forth between him and her mom. Pepper hadn’t been ready to go into detail about the kind of line of work the people around them did, but Peter knew she had some vague idea. For right now, things were hush hush.

“Well, I’m, taking a little time off, but I’ll definitely be...back for them.”

“You don’t sound too sure?” she countered.

“But I am sure,” he said hurriedly. “Mr. Stark would’ve…”

It stopped right there, as soon as he said the name aloud. As his heart thumped against his chest, he concentrated on the table so as to avoid Mrs. Stark’s reaction.

“Peter, Peter it’s okay,” she said gently.

He was already shaking his head. 

“No…no it isn’t.”

When he brought his head up and tried looking her in the eyes, he cursed inwardly at the wetness that was beginning to form in his own brown orbs. He wasn’t supposed to cry in front of her. Not in front of his wife. He couldn’t be responsible for making her breakdown. He was supposed to be strong for her.

“Ah, Morgan are you finished eating?” Pepper asked her child as she squeezed her shoulder.

She gave a quiet nod.

“Alright. Can you, play in your room for a while.”

“Yes mommy.” She got to her feet and left the kitchen. 

Peter readied himself to do some serious comforting and apologizing, but it wouldn’t be enough. Mr. Stark hadn’t left him as man of the house, yet he couldn’t help feeling that he was shouldering such a weight. It was the least he could do since he was overstaying his welcome. 

Pepper settled in the abandoned chair next to Peter who forced himself not to take his eyes off of her. A few seconds passed where she simply searched him with her bright eyes, then the next second she was leaning toward him and pulling him into a tight hug.

“I know you’re still hurting,” she began softly. “I’m hurting too.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t…I can’t make it…stop.” He was supposed to be a hero wasn’t he? He was the only one here and he should have been able to help her emotionally.

“It’s not your job to Peter. You don’t have to be sorry. Your being here was more than enough.”

The way her voice wavered at the end put a twist in his gut and his eyes felt wetter. 

“I’ve been here too long,” he said as shame churned in his gut. “I’m a freeloader. Mr. Stark would be ashamed. I should be better than this, I should be able to…to…”

The tears falling down brought on his awareness of his own silent crying. Pepper pulled away and gave him a watery smile, then brushed his falling tears aside.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be...”

He wasn’t supposed to cry in front of Mrs. Stark. He needed to be strong for her, strong for…him.

“Don’t be sorry. Don’t be afraid…to cry.” Her voice tampered off into a whisper. A tear glistened in the corner of an eye before strolling down her cheek. The same quickly happened to the other eye. “It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of how much you cared about him. I know how much you cared about him.”

Peter squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head.

“He was my hero,” he managed to admit in a shaky voice. “He helped me. It should’ve been me. I should’ve done it…I should’ve been the one to go.”

“Peter-”

“I’ve gone before! He had y-you and M-M-Morgan. He didn’t deserve to go.”

“And neither do you.” Her fingers were gripping his shoulders hard, and her tone had become more serious. “You have a full life ahead of yourself Peter. Tony wouldn’t have forgiven himself if you died after he tried so hard to get you back. To get everyone back.”

“I’m supposed to save people,” he whispered.

“You did,” she said forcefully as she gave his shoulders a small shake to emphasis her words. “You helped save a lot of people, just like Tony. He set out to protect the world after he became Iron man, and he did that…he…did…that.”

The tears were falling fast again for both. Peter swiped a hand across his eyes and sniffled.

“Tony led the way,” she continued. “He started something all those years ago, and now it’s up to you to keep following it.”

His shoulders were quaking hard. In his mind’s eye he could almost see Mr. Stark standing over her shoulder, smiling at him and giving a proud nod. 

“Okay…okay,” he said in a shaky breath, unsure of whether he was talking to her or his imagination. 

She pulled him into another hug and he practically melted into her arms. 

“You’re going to be okay, and so will we.” 

The circles she was rubbing into his back was quite comforting. Peter was surprised that he was able to release some of his tension.

“Thank you Mrs. Stark.” He sniffled again and leaned back in his chair. “I appreciate everything you did for me. I promise I’ll get out of your hair.”

A frown overcame her features.

“There’s no rush Peter. The last thing I want to do is kick you out.”

“But I’ve stayed here too long. I stayed because, I couldn’t leave this place. I couldn’t leave Mr. Stark.”

It was almost like he hadn’t understood it before, but it was clear now. This place was more than a house; it was Mr. Stark. Walking out the door for good would be like walking away from him. It would be letting go, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that. 

“You wouldn’t be leaving him Peter. You’re carrying him with you, everywhere you go.”

“I know. I should be able to just go, but I don’t know if I can.” 

He dropped his head, ashamed again. It was ridiculous. It shouldn’t be so hard to leave a house. Suddenly the warm palm of her hand cupped his cheek and encouraged him to look at her. The smile that lifted the corners of her lips seemed bigger than ever.

“Like I said, there’s no rush, and I don’t want you to feel bad about staying. I want this to be your home too Peter, and you’re welcome to stay any time you’d like. We’ll help each other get through this.”

Peter returned her smile, feeling much better now. The weight had been lifted just enough for him to breathe better, and the shame he felt about staying lessened.

“I’d like that. Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I liked the idea of Peter and Pepper dealing with the loss together. I haven't seen a fic like that. Maybe there's some out there and I just haven't found them yet. We may have lost Tony, but he can live on forever in fanfics, and I'm assuming in the comics. I'm sad we won't get to see RDJ in anymore Avengers movies. Him and the rest of the original members have been a great team to watch, and I can't imagine getting into a new generation of Avengers right now. It feels like it'll be tough to watch Endgame again, knowing about the loss and this phase of Avengers ending, but I don't feel too angry as there's always fanfiction and the millions of stories that can keep Tony and this team going for always :)


End file.
